The day was bright and the sun was smiling brilliantly that summer morning. I had awakened early just to be alone. To find out for sure if what I had felt was true. As I rolled out of bed, being careful not to awaken Greg lying so peacefully next to me, I snuck the box out from its hiding place under the bed and slipped off to the bathroom. I read the instructions and waited. After what seemed like an eternity, it was the moment of truth. I couldn't bring myself to look. The results, positive or negative, how would he react. We had discussed children, how we both wanted them but we wanted to wait. Wait for his career to take off, my university to finish up. Before I could summon the will to see the answer, Greg was stirring and I stuffed the box and used test into the oversize pockets of my robe. I made an excuse before slipping out of the bathroom and walking seductively back to the bedside where Greg was waiting eagerly with open arms.
We spent the day wandering the town and enjoying each others loving company. Shopping, sightseeing, being very much in love. Later on we found our way to the park where we walked along, hand in hand like lovers sometimes do. We stop now and then to look at the flowers, the people, and to kiss. Deep. passionate kisses, and small affectionate pecks on the cheek, each exchanged so sweetly and lovingly. So full of passion we were that we soon found ourselves playfully rushing home. I ran on ahead with Greg chasing me. I let him catch me, once or twice, just to be coy. When we reached the house we were out of breath. As Greg reached behind me to unlock the door our lips came together. Such a sweet taste, that passionate embrace. When he leaned back to put his keys away, I reached behind myself to open the door. As I looked into his big blue eyes I felt myself even more in love that I had ever felt in my life. When Greg leaned in for another kiss I playfully opened the door and let him stumble awkwardly past me, his fall to the floor like that of an well practiced slapstick comedian. As I looked at him laying there sheepishly on the floor I locked the door and went to him, in love. We began playfully wrestling, tickling each other as we had done so many times in the past. When Greg finally stood up, he swept me off my feet in his strong arms and kissed me ever so gently before carrying me up stairs, putting me down only to lead him to our chamber of passion.
We made love for hours that wonderful day. Late into the afternoon hours and on into the evening, every moment filled with sensual pleasures to be felt, explored and enjoyed. When finally we paused for a breath of air and fell back to the comfort of the bed to relax, Greg did something I had never expected. He rolled away from me for a moment and when he turned back he had a small box tied with a red ribbon in his hand. I still remember his words that night, I always will, "A gift for you, my love, for all eternity, will you be my wife?". A proposal! I was dumbstruck, what could I say, what else but to stammer out the words which I fear may have later haunted him, "Yes!, Yes! I'll marry you". We made love once again that night, the last time I was with him. My foolish mistake, which will haunt me forever to my grave.
I awoke later that night with a nagging feeling inside of me, thoughts of a task incomplete. The test, I had almost forgotten about it! It was there, in my robe from this morning, waiting. Waiting to tell me its answer, yes, or no. When I finally gained the courage to look, I slipped from the bed and off to the hall bathroom where he would not see. There I withdrew the little wand from my pocket. After what seemed like hours I finally looked. Yes, what I had suspected for the past few weeks was true. The flu, I kept telling him, just a mild cold or a bug going around. But I could no longer deny the truth. A child, but I was not ready, we were not ready. He was not ready, or was he. I didn't know, I couldn't bear the thought of asking, and being told no.
I didn't know what to do. In a panic I did what I have done in the past, when I've felt cornered, uncomfortable, unsure. I ran. I picked up what I could and left a hasty note. "I'm Sorry" is all I could think of to say. So little, to express so much emotion inside. And so I ran. I told no one, no one at all. I went to the bus station and got a ticket on the first bus out going out of town. I didn't care where it was going, just as long as it was far, far away. I couldn't bear the thought of facing Greg, I don't know why.